When you’re not the hot-shot rookie.

There are lots of ‘new’s that come with re-locating: a new house, new town, new people… and after moving to a new state, to commence a new job, there are many new things which can be intimidating or difficult.

But working amongst some of the most brilliant people I have ever met, certainly does help: from a former builder with a photographic memory, to the ex-librarian with seemingly endless detailed knowledge about all things, my fellow interns are a cut above the norm.

Now everyone loves the idea of being the hot-shot rookie: the new up and comer, or at least the wise old hand with much to tell. In this new place, I am none of these.

Each day is a mix of being blown away and made disturbingly aware of my incompetence as colleagues rattle of sentences explaining things I’ve never heard of with words I’ve never spelled (and will likely never be able to).

But as the old proverb states: the best way to grow, is to be among those better than yourself.

So instead of caving to the fears of inadequacy or writhing in self pity; instead of giving up on a dream, or trying to compete against them, the goodness of God provides with another option: To live assured that it is not how good a person or paramedic I am that gives me worth: it is simply that God loves me as I am, for who I am.

Now this isn’t going to be one of those corny blogs where everything is sunshine on lollipops and each post attempts to work a in a conversion story or apologetic point.

But when who you are, is inextricably tied to Christ, well then it becomes difficult to write without including God. Because at the end of the day, there will always be someone better than you. You will always make mistakes (and when paramedics make mistakes, sometimes we kill people). So as wrenchingly humbling as it may be, to not even be in the top 50% of intellects in the room, and to be aware that there are many ways I will never be able to measure up to the people I work alongside, I sleep with no pressure or fear on my mind: because I know that no matter which new place or position I end up in, there is a God with eternal consistency illuminating the shadows.


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